Matters of the Heart #6 — Building Tender Hearts Toward God

Matters of the heart decide whether a believer sees God’s miracles or keeps struggling in his own strength. In this sixth message of the series, preached in the Christmas season, the speaker teaches on building tender hearts: hearts that stay soft toward God and full of compassion toward people. He contrasts the two miraculous feedings in Mark 6 and Mark 8 to show what time alone with the Father does to a heart. It follows Matters of the Heart #5: Heart Treasures — Where Your Treasure Is, Your Heart Will Be.

Below you will find the full video, a structured summary of the sermon, every Scripture used (linked to the New King James Version on Bible Gateway), a timestamped outline, and practical steps for keeping your heart tender this week.

Sermon at a Glance

This message was preached at NTC Ministries during the Christmas season and posted on December 30, 2021. The speaker explains that he started the Matters of the Heart series a couple of months earlier and is not in the pulpit every week. This week’s subject, he says, came to him suddenly: building tender hearts. It runs about an hour and closes with a prayer of recommitment.

His central claim is practical. The miraculous, the strength of God and genuine compassion for people all flow from a heart that stays tender toward God, and the way to keep it tender is to spend time alone with Him first.

Christmas and the Tender Heart of Jesus

The speaker opens with Christmas. It affects people like no other time of year, he says, and he recalls that during the First World War, Christmas stopped the fighting for a day. Opposing sides came together and celebrated in the middle of the war before returning to battle the next day.

That picture led him to Jesus’ own mission. Jesus created time and everything in it, and when all of it became corrupted, He invested Himself into time to redeem it and bring us to eternal life. He left the glory of heaven and came into a corrupted world to fight a war, and He fought it alone.

For thirty-three and a half years He fought the fight of faith with a love mankind had never seen. What made the difference, the speaker says, is that Jesus kept a pure, tender heart, not only toward the Father but toward people. Whatever happened, He was moved with compassion, and that tender heart brought redemption to all mankind.

When Hard Times Harden Hearts

He then turns to American history. In the Great Depression of the 1930s, people fought just to eat, to keep a roof over their families’ heads and heat in the house. Then came the attack on Pearl Harbor and, two days later, the draft.

Young men who had rarely traveled more than twenty or thirty miles from home were sent to nations they did not know, among people whose language they could not speak. They were fighting to stay alive, yet they had to keep a tender heart toward their mission of freeing territories from cruel dictators. Multiply that, he says, and you begin to picture Jesus fighting His war alone.

Israel’s story was similar. After four hundred years of slavery in Egypt, the people did not even know who God was; that is why Moses asked whose name to give them. When Pharaoh made their lives harder, they turned on Moses. They were drawn out of Egypt, crossed the Red Sea on dry land and saw signs and wonders, yet their slave mentality remained.

God promised them an inheritance, but they would have to fight for it, and four hundred years had taught them that fighting earned them nothing. He would do a miracle, and the next day they would question Him. Their hearts were hard, and that is why the Lord’s heart was grieved toward them.

Believers face the same danger, he says. We are brought out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9), yet years of addiction, anger or selfishness have trained us to think, I have to take care of me. God says He wants to take care of everything and do signs and wonders for us. The speaker is clear that doctors are not bad, because God put them here, but he asks the church to imagine what would happen if our hearts were tender enough to let God do everything He wants to do for us.

Believing in God’s Compassion

Jesus never told us to strive for things, the speaker says. Striving came from Adam’s fall, when the ground was cursed and man would eat by the sweat of his brow (Genesis 3:17–19). Instead, Paul tells Timothy, “Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life” (1 Timothy 6:12). Laying hold of the life God has for us requires keeping a tender heart, which is not easy, but there is a way.

He tells the story from Mark 9:17–23. As Jesus came down from the Mount of Transfiguration, a father ran to Him. A spirit had been throwing his son into fire and water, and the disciples could not help. The father said, “If You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” Jesus answered, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”

The speaker connects those two statements directly: the father asked for compassion, and Jesus told him to believe. Compassion means looking to someone else rather than yourself, and a Christian who only asks what about me is not compassionate. Many people stay in addictions and fears, he says, because they do not really believe in God’s compassion. Their hearts are hard toward Him. When our hearts open, His tenderness comes in and makes us tender too.

Whether it was Jesus coming into the earth, Israel heading for the promised land, or America in the Depression, the lesson is the same: to believe God above our circumstances and above this corrupted world’s system, we have to keep a tender heart.

Everyone has two hearts, he explains. One is the physical heart, an incredible machine that cannot be duplicated. The other is the spiritual heart, born darkened and hard in Adam. When we are born again, God gives us a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26). At first the blues are bluer and the greens are greener, but over time the old “me, me, me” returns, and we must learn how to keep that new heart tender. Jesus’ invitation still stands: come to Me, all you who labor, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28–30).

Matters of the Heart: The Shrub and the Tree

The series’ foundation passage returns here. In Jeremiah 17:5–8, the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the Lord, “shall be like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see when good comes.” The man who trusts in the Lord “shall be like a tree planted by the waters,” whose leaf stays green and who does not cease from yielding fruit, even in drought.

Everyone drifts into the shrub condition at times, he admits, and needs to come back from trying to make it alone. Some people go to church for the strength of people, and when they get hurt there they blame the church. But church was never about the strength of people; it is about the strength of God.

So it is our responsibility to keep our hearts tender, yielding them to God whether something bad or something good happens. Seasons of heat will come, which is why Scripture promises times of refreshing from the presence of the Lord (Acts 3:19). When the heart is right, you know He is there even when you cannot feel or see Him. He has promised never to leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). He is the God who heals, Jehovah Jireh the provider, and El Elyon.

The speaker links this to an earlier message in the series on a heart that remembers. The more we remember what God has done, the better life gets; the more we forget and complain, the worse it gets. David remembered the lion and the bear before he faced Goliath, and he declared it (1 Samuel 17:34–37). If you stop testifying about a miracle, a hard heart will eventually make you wonder whether it happened, even your own salvation.

Two Miracles, Two Kinds of Hearts

In Mark 6, Jesus sent out the twelve with authority to heal and cast out demons (Mark 6:7–13). Meanwhile Herod had beheaded John the Baptist at the request of Herodias’s daughter, and when he heard of the miracles he thought John had risen from the dead (Mark 6:14–29).

In Mark 6:30–44, Jesus told the apostles to come aside to a deserted place and rest a while. The crowds ran around the lake and arrived first. Since there are still few roads around the Sea of Galilee, the speaker reasons the disciples must have spent unhurried time on the water, perhaps days, simply talking, praying and laughing with Jesus.

When Jesus saw the multitude, He was moved with compassion, and that same evening the disciples were concerned that the people had nothing to eat. With five loaves and two fish, about five thousand men were fed, and the speaker notes that theologians estimate fifteen to twenty thousand people with women and children. Twelve baskets were left over.

Immediately afterward Jesus sent the disciples back across the lake (Mark 6:45–52). At three in the morning they were still straining at the oars against the wind. Jesus came walking on the sea, said “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid,” and the wind ceased. They were amazed, “for they had not understood about the loaves, because their heart was hardened.”

A heart that is sensitive to what it should resist and hard to what it should welcome, he says, is not tender. Later Jesus asked them whether their hearts were still hardened and whether they did not remember the baskets (Mark 8:14–21). In Mark 8:1–9, after three days with the crowd, it was Jesus who had to say, “I have compassion on the multitude.” The disciples, tired from toiling, had none.

The table below follows his comparison of the two feedings.

With tender hearts, they started with less, fed more and ended with more. With hard hearts, they started with more, fed fewer and ended with less. If you are struggling at work or at home but refuse to make time for God, he says, that is the reason. Coming to church matters, but daily intimate time alone with Him is where miracles grow.

Waiting on the Lord and Choosing the Good Part

He shares two experiences. For thirty-five years the church has run a food program in Lincoln County, and people often ask what happens if someone takes advantage of it. That is not our concern, he says; the Lord said feed them. When officials once questioned the program, he told them the church would feed anyone who asked, even a physician in town who fell on hard times. That same week a local emergency-room doctor came for food, embarrassed, after his wife left and emptied their bank account. Of course we fed him, the speaker says, and helped him in other ways too.

The second experience came a little over ten years earlier, when the economy collapsed and he stopped taking a salary. He did not sit down with paper to work out a plan. He spent nights and days talking with the Father, who reminded him of the birds that neither sow nor store and yet are fed (Matthew 6:26). God provided. Delight in Him and commit your way to Him, and He will bring it to pass (Psalm 37:4–5).

Isaiah 40:28–31 says even the youths shall faint and be weary, “but those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength.” As a young minister he burned the candle at both ends, reading his Bible but never resting in the Lord. Burnout, he says, is a minister’s greatest downfall, and it was never God’s burden.

The Hebrew word for wait, as he teaches it, is kavah, which means to intertwine like strands of a rope. One strand breaks easily; a hundred together do not. He links it to Genesis 1:9, where the waters were gathered together into one place. Waiting is not doing nothing. It is turning off the television, closing the door and drinking from His water like a tree with roots by the river.

He compares a hard heart to hard water: soap will not lather until the water is softened. Let His presence warm your heart, and compassion will flow.

In Luke 10:38–42, Martha was distracted with much serving, while Mary sat at Jesus’ feet. “One thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Your job, family or home can be taken from you, the speaker says, but not the miracle power of God’s compassion in a life that spends time with Him.

That does not mean leaving everyday life behind. You still work and raise a family. But just as we tithe our increase, each new day is an increase that should be given to God first. Even studying the Word cannot replace simply being with Him, or the heart grows dry like the Pharisees’. God created man to walk with Him in the cool of the day (Genesis 3:8), and if you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good of the land (Isaiah 1:19–20).

Building a Tender Heart This Week

Here are the practical steps drawn from this message:

• Give God the first part of your day. Get up a little earlier and spend time alone with Him before anything else, as Mary chose the good part.
• Read to hear Him, not just to finish. Open your Bible and say, Jesus, talk to me today.
• Remember and testify. Recall what God has already done for you, as David did, and say it out loud.
• Put petitions second. In prayer, start by simply being with the Father before you bring your requests.
• Let compassion move you. Look for someone who needs help this week and serve them without asking whether they deserve it.
• Rest instead of striving. When you feel like you are rowing against the wind, stop and wait on the Lord until your strength is renewed.

Timestamped Outline

• 0:00 Building tender hearts and the Christmas truce
• 1:12 Jesus invests Himself into corrupted time
• 3:22 The Depression and the draft
• 5:39 Israel’s four hundred years in Egypt
• 8:56 Believers who still take care of me
• 10:00 Fight the good fight of faith
• 11:03 Mark 9: if You can, have compassion
• 13:39 Two hearts: physical and spiritual
• 15:51 Jeremiah 17: the shrub in the desert
• 18:11 The tree planted by the waters
• 21:37 David remembers the lion and the bear
• 22:37 Mark 6: the twelve sent out
• 24:38 Come aside and rest a while
• 28:52 Five loaves and two fish
• 30:49 Straining at the oars
• 32:54 Their heart was hardened
• 35:02 Mark 8: the feeding of four thousand
• 37:07 Comparing the two miracles
• 39:39 The church food program
• 43:43 Provision in a hard season
• 47:22 Isaiah 40: those who wait on the Lord
• 53:14 Mary and Martha: the good part
• 59:23 Closing prayer of recommitment

Matters of the Heart Series

This message is part of an eight-part series at NTC Ministries. Start from the beginning or continue where this one leaves off:

• First message: Matters of the Heart #1: Guarding the Spiritual Heart and the Principle of the Seed
• Previous: Matters of the Heart #5: Heart Treasures — Where Your Treasure Is, Your Heart Will Be
• You are here: Matters of the Heart #6 — Building Tender Hearts Toward God
• Next: Matters of the Heart #7: Keeping an Open Heart and Building an Established Heart

Frequently Asked Questions

Does waiting on the Lord mean doing nothing?

No. The speaker says most people think waiting means sitting idle, but the word he teaches means to intertwine with God like strands of a rope. It is active time with Him: turning off the television, closing the door and being in His presence. You still work and raise a family, but you give Him the first part of your day.

Why does he say church alone is not enough?

He strongly encourages coming to church, but he warns that people who go only for the strength of other people end up hurt and disappointed. The tender heart he describes comes from intimate, daily time alone with the Father. Church builds on that relationship; it cannot replace it.

How can I tell if my heart is getting hard?

From the disciples’ example, he points to a few signs: you stop having compassion for people, you are worn out from striving in your own strength, and you forget what God has already done. In his words, a heart that is sensitive to the things it should be hard to, and hard to the things it should be sensitive to, is not tender.

Scripture References

All passages open in the New King James Version on Bible Gateway:

• Jeremiah 17:5–8 — the shrub in the desert and the tree by the waters
• 1 Timothy 6:12 — fight the good fight of faith
• Mark 9:17–23 — have compassion on us and help us
• Mark 6:30–44 — feeding the five thousand
• Mark 6:45–52 — their heart was hardened
• Mark 8:1–9 — feeding the four thousand
• Isaiah 40:28–31 — those who wait on the Lord
• Luke 10:38–42 — Mary chose the good part

How this summary was made: written with AI assistance from the sermon’s own transcript and checked against the Scriptures listed above.

Watch More Messages

If this message drew your heart closer to God, there are hundreds more teachings from NTC Ministries to explore. Browse the full sermon archive and keep building a tender heart toward Him.